No Matter What I Say I'm Not Over You
by BreathingMusicandLyrics11
Summary: Bella is attending college in Seattle. She grew up in Forks with Alice as her best friend,Emmett as her older brother,Jasper as a dear friend and Edward as Alice's brother that Bella has pinned away for. Edward is famous. Give this a chance!  :
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is "No Matter What I Say I'm Not Over You." This is not my first time writing a fanfic but it _is_ my first time back in very long time. I love reading fanfic so I decided to write again.**

**This story is ALL CANNON PAIRINGS not to worry. ALL HUMAN. RATED MATURE. **

**SUMMARY: Bella is attending college in Seattle. She grew up in Forks with Alice as her best friend, Emmett as her older brother, Jasper as a dear friend and Edward as Alice's brother that Bella has pinned away for. That's really all you need to know before you read.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: Heading Home<strong>

"You're failing Ms. Swan. I don't know what else to tell you."

I looked at my professor with a gaping mouth. You've seen those blank stares. A combination of a deer in the headlights and watching a baboon give birth.

"Failing?" I breathed out. "That's not possible. I've done perfect on all of the tests and my papers-"

"Are unsatisfactory. At best Ms. Swan you'll pull a D minus. Though I highly doubt you'll achieve it."

This was fucking bull shit! My fists were balling up as I clenched and unclenched my jaw, working every ounce of self-control I possessed so as not to yell or, God forbid punch the fucker.

"Professor Banner, I realize I've been distracted lately, but you must see reason!" I implored him. "My mother passed away from her battle with cancer just under a month ago. I'll do anything to bring up my grade. I passed first semester and I've been passing, there must be something I can do."

Professor Banner sighed and rubbed his eyebrows, his lips pursing. "Ms. Swan, I do not offer extra credit. Extra credit does not exist in college. There really is nothing I can do for you. You'll have to take the class next semester, if you come back. You can always enlist a different professor if you choose so."

I felt my lips twisting with venom as I gripped the front of Professor Banner's desk. "Thank you for your time."

With that parting, I left my Human Relations professor with as much grace as I could muster. It took everything I had not to shout at him, raise my fist in the air and tell him what a fucking dick tip he is.

How could he be so insensitive? Ass. Hole. My mother just died. Even the most focused of students would be distracted and upset. I felt like I'd been doing pretty well, all things considered. I had only missed a week of classes, kept up with my work, albeit, maybe I half assed a lot of it but still!

I shook my head as I made my way to my dorm. With any luck, Alice would be there and willing to listen about my horrible day.

My friends have been phenomenal through all of my "emoness". Not once have they been insensitive. If anything, sometimes they're too sensitive to my emotions and thoughts. I feel like they're all waiting for me to really snap. Which in all honesty, I kind of am too.

When Charlie called to tell me that my mother had finally gone, I didn't even cry. I simply finished the conversation with my father, hung up, typed an email to my professors explaining my upcoming absents, threw some clothes into a laundry sack and drove home to Forks. I hadn't even thought to tell my small group of friends what had happened until Alice called me, freaking out that I hadn't come back to the dorm. She was verbally pissed off that I hadn't asked one of them to drive with me and insisted that she and Jasper attend the funeral for support and to pay their respects. To this day, I still haven't cried. It's not that I'm in denial I've just been very good at deflecting breakdowns.

I sighed as I rounded the corner of the hall and got to my dorm. I could hear muffled rock music coming from my room causing my eyes to quickly glance at the door handle. Hmm, sock free so Alice wasn't bumping uglies with anybody. I jammed my key into the lock, twisting with a shove to open the heavy door. Alice was at her desk across from her bed, her head bent down in concentration as she read and jotted down notes for a class. She hadn't heard me come in and I suspected the reason for the loud music was our neighbor and very close friend, Rosalie Hale.

Rosalie and her boyfriend, Royce, had sex like crack whores. Alice and I don't exactly like Royce, he kind of treats Rosalie like property, not somebody he loves, but Rosalie always dismisses our thoughts.

I walked over to the stereo and turned the knob down to dull background music. "Hey, Al, how's the study session?"

Alice peeked up at me through her tiny reading glasses. The girl was a walking fashion magazine and even in yoga pants and a baggy shirt she looked cover shoot ready. Her pixie cut dark hair was spikier than usual, as though she had been pulling at it.

Alice huffed and tossed her pencil down. "Rosalie and Royce broke up. She's been in her dorm having crazy sex with some pre-med guy."

"Sounds like we've both had shitty afternoons." I plopped myself down on my bed with a deep sigh, closing my eyes and counting back from 100.

I felt the bed dip beside me as Alice crawled and lay down with me. "What happened?" she asked in a whisper, sensing my gloom.

"I'm failing human relations and apparently there is nothing I can do to fix it. Banner's a bastard."

"He won't let you, like, do extra credit or something?"

"No," I groaned. "According to Banner, extra credit doesn't exist in college."

I could almost see the scowl on Alice's face even with my eyes shut. "That's bull shit," she spat.

I nodded, agreeing. "I think I'm gonna go home this weekend. Wanna come?"

Alice sat up, causing me to open my eyes. "Why are you going home?"

I sat up as well, dropping one shoulder. "Emmett's gonna be home, I haven't seen him since mom's funeral and Charlie's phone calls get sadder and sadder every time we talk. I think he could use a visit."

"I've got a great idea!" Alice squealed. She does that a lot. "Why don't we make a trip out of it. Leave tomorrow, you, me, Rosalie and Jasper."

"And what, skip Friday's classes?" I asked frowning.

Alice smiled ruefully. "You only have human relations on Friday, if you're failing and the professor's a tool, why go? I don't have to go to my classes on Friday, it's only lectures and I can get the notes from Jess or something. Jasper may take some convincing but I'm sure Rose will be all for getting away. I wanna go home and see mom and dad and Edward." Alice pulled out the puppy dog eyes. "C'mon Bella, road trip and a three day weekend!"

It did have its perks. All of us back at our old stomping grounds, save Rosalie who had never set foot in bum fuck Forks. I snorted at the thought. Poor girl will probably go ape shit once she finds out the closest Macy's is here in Seattle.

"Okay. I'll call Charlie and let him know...but Rose stays with you." I smirked as Alice poked her tongue out at me.

I pulled my cell from my pocket and dialed home to tell Charlie I'd be coming home with the gang. The line rang three times before a very familiar booming voice picked up.

"Bells?"

"Emmett?" I gasped. He was already home. He must have felt like Charlie needed us too.

"Hey! What's got your prestigious butt calling little ole' Forks?"

I scoffed and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm not prestigious!" Emmett laughed loudly. "Actually, I was calling to tell dad that I'd be coming home tomorrow. Alice, Rose, and possibly Jasper are gonna come too."

"Sweet. I'll tell dad. Who's Rose?"

I smirked. Hmm, maybe Rose and Em would get along. "She's a friend of Alice and I. She could use the escape."

Speak of the devil.

A loud boom echoed throughout my room and I looked up to see the blonde bombshell herself standing in the doorway.

"Well now that I've had that piece of shit fucked out of me, who's up for some alcohol?"

"Uhh, Em? Yeah, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

"Everything all right? Who just walked in?"

"I love you Em, bye!"

I hung up before Emmett could say anything else and looked over at Alice who was already holding up a bottle of vodka and a carton of orange juice.

Rosalie threw herself down on the bed next to me, putting her head in my lap as Alice danced over and sat behind me to my left, pouring three glasses of our elixir.

Alice informed Rosalie of our impeding road trip and Rosalie was all for it, already talking about music for the drive, who would sit where, and what she was going to pack. I didn't bother telling her my brother would be in town, I wanted to see her genuine surprise.

I hoped the two year age gap between Rose and Em wouldn't cause one of them to be against a coupling. I sniggered to myself as the three of us drank and talked. Rose and Em haven't even met and I'm already naming my nieces and nephews. Alice is rubbing off on me.

"So I finally told him."

I quirked my eyebrow up at Alice as Rose blew out her cheeks and swallowed her large gulp.

"Told who what?" I asked, tipping a sip back.

"I told Jasper I'm in love with him," Alice said, her cheeks tingeing a soft pink. Alice Cullen never blushes.

"What?" Rose deadpanned not so eloquently.

Alice nodded, mashing her lips. "We were walking back from history and we stopped by the benches just outside the dorm and kept talking. He reached up to brush some hair out of my eyes and it just kind of...slipped out."

"Well, what did Jasper say? Did he do anything? Did he...did he say it back?" Rose shot questions at her rapidly while I sat quietly, watching Alice's face.

"He um...he kissed me." Alice whispered, barely hiding her excitement.

Rose and I both jumped up on my bed like something straight out of a chick flick and screamed with joy.

"It's about fucking time the two of you declared your love for each other!" I yelled, giggling.

Rose repeated one of her questions. "Did he say it back?"

Alice nodded quickly. "Yeah."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this as soon as I walked in the room." I narrowed my eyes at Alice and then busted out laughing. "Did you think if I knew you two were together I might not have gone for the whole road trip thing?"

Alice shrugged. "Not really. I mean, the thought crossed my mind but it's not why I didn't tell you. You looked really sad so my news about Jasper wasn't as important at the time."

I huffed and glanced at Rosalie before looking back at my best friend since birth. "Alice, the news of you and Jasper finally getting together is more important than anything to me. You know how long I've said you two were made for each other. He's the yin to your yang." I smiled goofily at her.

Alice just beamed at Rosalie and I, throwing the remains of her drink down her throat. "I think I'm gonna go find Jazzy and talk to him about going home for the weekend. I really hope he doesn't have some test or paper due tomorrow, or else he'll never come."

Rosalie scoffed. "Please, Alice. That boy would flunk out of college if you asked him to."

Alice shook her head at my and Rosalie's girly giggles as she grabbed a light jacket and left the dorm room. Rosalie and I got shit faced on the rest of our drink and made a night out of packing and making playlists for the drive. Honestly, the way Rose was carrying on, you'd think she thought this was going to be a day's drive. It would take about three hours if we left at the right time and avoided Seattle and Tacoma traffic.

I didn't have the heart to burst Rosalie's bubble because she seemed genuinely excited to go to Forks. We gabbed about her break up and the shit girls do when they're drunk and there aren't guys. I was shaking my ass to some rap music when Rosalie burst my own bubble.

"So will I finally be meeting Alice's famous brother Edward?"

I cringed. Oh Edward. That boy was the star in all of my sexual fantasies. No male on the planet could compare to his inner and outer beauty.

Growing up, Alice and I were born two weeks apart and her older brother Edward was a little over two years older than us. He, Jasper and Emmett were always pretty close and eventually the boys welcomed Alice and I into their clan once high school hit for Alice and I.

It was in the second grade when Edward was a hall monitor as a fourth grader, that I fell in love with him. Sounds corny but ever since I saw him rocking that sash and little notepad like he owned the halls, he owned my soul. I had slipped on a small wet spot outside the bathroom and Edward rushed over to help me. I had met Edward before since Alice and I played together nearly every day but he always tore the heads off our Barbie's and played stupid pranks on us.

When Emmett and Edward graduated they both went off to college in Missouri to attend Mizzou. Edward really buckled down and got his degree in business in three years, which was impressive. Emmett was finishing out his architect degree there and Edward was now running restaurants all over the country but had a few small places in Forks since he wanted to move back home.

He's done amazing for himself. His parent's would have handed him anything he asked for but he wanted work for what he got. Edward was also working a small recording contract and had opened for a few bands that came to the West Coast. He was always a hit and Volturi Records finally took notice, offering him a nice deal. So the great Edward Cullen was a man of many talents but in little ole' Forks he would always be known as the heartbreaker.

Edward and I had always been friends. He told me on my senior Prom night, when I went with Mike Newton that I looked "too beautiful for that gaytard". I had blushed a furious red and he kissed my cheek before running up to his room that at the time he was staying in.

The last time I saw Edward was a three months before my mother passed away, so I hadn't seen him in six months. Much to his dismay, Edward was unable to attend her funeral because he had a gig in LA, opening for some big alternative band. He had called Alice, apologizing profusely and said he would come as soon as he could. But as soon as Edward could, wasn't soon enough. The weekend was gone and I was back at school, sorely wishing I could have gotten a hug from him. Alice had sensed my feelings for her brother long ago and knew what it would have meant for me to have seen him that week. I think she felt guilty even though she had nothing to do with it. And I wasn't holding that against him. I was so thrilled for Edward and his many accomplishments. I would have never let him back out of his concert.

I shrugged at Rosalie, realizing I took a little too long to reply to her. "I mean, if he's home. I guess. But there's always a chance that he's at one of his restaurants or has a gig."

It suddenly hit me that Rosalie was Edward's type. I blanched and decided that Rose was not staying with Alice. She would stay with me and I would all but shove her and Emmett together. That may have been selfish of me but there was no way I could girl sex talk with Rosalie about Edward. It would tear me apart. If they did meet and had a true connection, I wouldn't stand in the way, but I sure as hell wasn't going to help one form. I wasn't retarded.

"So um, now that I think about it, you should stay with me. I mean, it's closer to town and Charlie would love to finally meet you. Not to mention Emmett."

Rosalie perked up, peering at me over the top of her Cosmo magazine. "Your brother is home too?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it's part of the reason I'm going home."

She licked her bottom lip. "Yeah, okay. I'll stay with you."

I smiled like that cat who ate the canary at her and finished a paper that was due Tuesday so that I wouldn't have to worry about it over the weekend.

Around 11 o'clock, Alice came strolling back into the dorm with a dazed look on her face. Rose and I looked at her oddly, waiting for her to elaborate on what was going on.

"It's so big. Riley looks like a peanut compared to Jasper."

Rosalie and I were silent for a few beats before it finally hit us what the fuck she was talking about. We both squealed loudly. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered what Jasper was packing. Still, I was a little grossed out.

"Wait!" Rosalie yelled. "You already fucked him?"

Alice glared at Rosalie. "No, Rose. I did not 'fuck him'. I caught him coming out of the shower...naked. It was glorious. I nearly fainted." Alice smiled to herself and then shook her head. "Um, anyway. He said he was game for coming. So it's all set. He called his parents and they're excited we're all coming back. I still need to call my mom and let her know Rose and I will be coming."

Rosalie cleared her throat. "I'm staying with Bella."

Prior to our agreement, Alice shifted her weight nervously since I had made her promise to take Rosalie. I discreetly nodded behind Rose's back at Alice so that Alice didn't try to convince her of otherwise.

I think Alice knew what I was up to because she got this creepy smile on her face and just nodded her head. Oh yeah. Alice knew exactly what I was up to.

Once Alice was all packed, Rosalie camped out on our floor. Why she did this was beyond me since she had a perfectly fine bed just next door. Alice was a little annoyed because Rose snores like a chain saw. I always found it kind of nice. There was something imperfect about Ms. Perfect.

Sleep found me quickly once Alice laid a pillow over Rosalie's face. Once again my head was filled with dirty images of a beautiful boy doing the most unsaintly of things to me.

"Beeeellllllaaaa!" He cired out.

"Bella?" My body was rocking hard with his movements. "Bella!"

I frowned, looking around the bedroom Edward and I were in. Why could I hear Alice?

"BELLA!"

I peeled open my eyes, glaring at the sprite that woke me. I groaned a few unintelligible words and rolled up in my blankets. So warm.

"Bella, what were you dreaming about?" Rose asked from the floor where she had just woken up.

"Yeah, you were moaning pretty hard there," Alice giggled as she pranced around our room, getting dressed.

I looked down at Rosalie and her blonde bird nest sitting on her head. "Uhh, I kept throwing up in the dream. Awful." I cringed, trying to add dramatic effect.

"Really?" Alice asked, quirking one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "You moan my brother's name when you throw up?"

I threw myself back under my covers as my two best friends laughed their asses off at me. Yeah, real comical guys.

"You guys suck," I mumbled as I hauled ass outta bed and to the showers.

Alice insisted we take Jasper's truck since it had the most room for her things. The girl was heading home. What could she possibly need?

"Mornin' Bells," Jasper nodded to me when I handed him my suitcase to toss in the truck bed. Thank god he had one of those covers for it, or else our shit would get soaked. A light mist was dusting the air but it was nice and warm for a change. Thank you impending summer time!

"Hey Jasper," I greeted back and gave him a half hug. "I hear you and Alice talked yesterday."

Jasper smirked. "We did more than talk," he drawled with a wink.

Even though the remark wasn't made about me, I still blushed bright pink and giggled. I playfully shoved Jasper. "Don't you dare be making sexual innuendos about my Alice."

Jasper played right along. "Your Alice?"

I smirked. "Why else do you think we've roomed together the past two years, Jasper? We're secret lesbian lovers and Rosalie is our dominatrix."

I heard Rosalie snort from behind me. "Yeah, I like it real rough and painful." She barred her teeth to Jasper who I swear was getting a little excited at the mental picture we painted for him.

Alice skipped over from the dorm building, smiling. "Don't worry Jazzy, I've got time for you too."

And with that, Rosalie and I climbed in the back seat of Jasper's truck, shutting our doors and getting comfy with pillows and blankets. Alice and Jasper followed suit, Alice jumping in the passenger seat immediately plugging her ipod in.

Jasper looked at her horrified. "NO! No chick music in my truck!" He wailed.

Rosalie and I were already munching on our Twizzlers and Pringles, deciding to let the couple have their first fight.

"Jasper, I'll make you the happiest man alive and make out with Rosalie if you let us have our music."

Rosalie very ungracefully let a mouthful of half chewed chips spill from her mouth. "You're gonna what?"

Jasper acted like a five year old on Christmas morning. "You have to touch her boobs too!"

"Okay," Alice shrugged.

Rosalie looked between myself and the two up front shocked. "How did I get roped into this? I'm just along for the ride!"

"Oh come on Rose. It's not like we haven't done it before when we were drunk."

"We were drunk!" Rosalie screamed. "I didn't give a fuck then."

"So are you saying you're too good to kiss Alice?" I asked trying not to laugh.

I swear Rosalie was going to punch me. Her icy blue eyes shot fire. "Alice, get out of the truck."

Alice hopped out, Rose following. Jasper and I quickly evacuated too, no way was I missing this. Jasper was practically drooling and they hadn't even started yet.

Out of nowhere, Rosalie slammed little Alice against Jasper' truck, trailing kisses up Alice's neck and pinning her hands. Jasper groaned from beside me. I was stunned. Rose slowly moved her hands up Alice's torso, Alice copying her movements as they both locked mouths and went at it like they would with any boy. I swear Alice even moaned a little. After about two minutes I clapped my hands to break up the scene. It was when Jasper smacked my hands down that I realized he was recording this with his cell phone. Oh great.

Rosalie pecked Alice once then twice before pulling away and sauntering back into the truck like nothing happened. Alice winked at Jasper, blowing him a kiss before hopping into the truck as well.

"So...what'd ya say Bells, you up for a little smooching with one of em?"

Even though I thought Rosalie and Alice were drop dead gorgeous, I had no desire to stick my tongue down their throats. I laughed at Jasper and got in the truck.

Alice started our playlist, dancing in her seat before we even left the parking lot. I could tell this was going to either be the best car ride ever, or I was going to want to kill myself at the end of it.

The time passed quickly since we were all being crazily stupid. I stole Jasper's cell phone somehow and we were recording our whole trip, singing horribly off key and dancing like we were getting electrocuted. It was nice to be so care free.

Rosalie kept looking out the windows at all the trees and green she could see. Rosalie was born and raised in South Carolina, so to see such forestry was different for her even if she had attended UDub for two years now. I could tell she was excited and hoped her love of high end stores wasn't going to hinder her time in Forks.

I thought a lot about Edward as we were all being stupid and acting like small children. I wondered if he looked different. Would I look different to him? Would it be hard to fall back into our friendship or would it just be natural? Was he even home? Or was he out of town this weekend?

I literally twiddled my fingers. I'd be lying if I said I had given up hope that maybe someday Edward would really see me. I mean, sure, I didn't have a whole lot to offer any guy but I was smart, loving, and from the few sexual experiences I'd had, I was damn good. Of course, they could have been lying just to be nice but I doubted it since Paul always came back for more when he could have had any girl he wanted.

I huffed and gave some thought to my _one_ relationship. Let's be honest. In high school, I wasn't exactly…developed. I had the average amount of acne, a boyish frame and glasses. I had friends because of Alice. Alice much like her brother never had to deal with waking up and wishing they were a different person, better looking and less boring. And thanks to Emmett, I was never bullied because everybody knew my big brother would pummel them. So needless to say, I wasn't exactly everybody's pick for dances. Except senior prom. Alice had worked on my acne for a good two months before and had my face clear. She helped me shop for a dress that would allow for a decent push up bra and talked Mike Newton into asking me. Of course, I hadn't known this until a week after the dance when Mike accidentally brought it up. I was livid and tried to stay angry at Alice but she had worked so hard just to make sure I had a good time. How could I have hated her for that?

So Paul has been my only sexual relationship. Losing my virginity hadn't been some romantic build up. I had been at a party freshmen year with Rosalie and Alice. Paul and Jasper had become somewhat friends, allowing Paul and I to meet. Paul took notice of my late bloomer-ness and asked if I wanted to leave with him.

It had been awkward but Paul promised he was safe, that he wouldn't judge me. I believed him. And so we continued our friends with benefits thing since. We never had dates, we kept things simple. So far, it's been exactly what I need.

"Hey, Bells, remember when you fell down the stairs sophomore year and took Lauren and Kate with you?" Jasper asked, pointing to the bane of my existence, Forks High School.

I narrowed my eyes at Jasper in the rear view mirror. "Hey, Jasper, remember when you comforted the lunch lady because her cat died and a rumor spread that you had fucked her?"

Rosalie snorted and tilted her head to the side, "I think I may have liked high school here with you guys. Everybody knows everybody, don't they?" She asked thoughtfully.

I nodded my head absently. I was about to tell Rosalie she could have had a lot of fun with Alice and I when Jasper made me want to hang him up by his nut sack.

"Rosalie, if you had gone here, Edward would have shit his pants at the sight of you."

Alice tensed up but said nothing and Rosalie glanced at me. "I don't know," she sent me a wink. "But from what I've heard of Emmett, I would have been all over him."

She was just trying to be nice but it still bothered me. I prayed yet again that Emmett not have a girlfriend right now. Please let Rosalie become _my_ sister in-law and not Alice's!

We were getting close to my house now, Rosalie quickly pulled out her purse, digging for some mascara and lip gloss, fluffing her hair and stripping out of her yoga pants into some skinny jeans. I fought an eye roll.

Jasper pulled up to the end of my gravel drive way, saying he and Alice would see us later at the bar. Rosalie and I grabbed our stuff but didn't get two feet up my driveway when a very large mass slammed into me, picked me up and spun around at puke inducing speeds. The grip at which I was held was not just for the hell of it. Emmett had missed me and I squeezed back with just as much enthusiasm.

"Bells," Em whispered, squeezing tight once before he put me on my feet. "I'm glad you're here." And in true Emmett fashion, he ruffled the top of my head.

I groaned and fought not to stomp my foot. "Emmett, this," I served my hand to Rosalie, "Is Rosalie Hale, she'll be staying with us."

Rosalie smirked and stretched her hand out to shake Emmett's. "I've heard so much about you." I swear her voice had dropped to a 'come hither' tone and she was secretly asking if he would carry her inside and have his way with her.

Emmett's mouth was literally hanging open, holding her hand. "I uh…"

It took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to bust out laughing. My bear of a brother, who was always confident and never shy around the ladies was wonderstruck. Huh, the world does have a natural order.

"You'll help her with her bags, right, Emmett?" I hinted, nudging him with my elbow.

Emmett shot into the perfect gentlemen, grabbing mine and Rosalie's bags, quickly hauling them inside with a deep yell to Charlie that I was home.

Rosalie giggled as we walked up the porch steps and into the house. Charlie leaned his head around from his rocking chair in front of a ball game, smiling. He slowly rose, not looking a day over forty still.

"Bells, good to see you home." His gruff voice said as he half hugged me and then offered his hand to Rosalie. "I don't believe we've met."

Rosalie smiled her breathtaking smile and decided to hug Charlie. "I'm Rosalie; I hope it's all right that I'm staying here."

Charlie appeared just as affected by Rosalie as Emmett was. "Well of course. You just make yourself right at home. Always good to meet Bella's friends."

Emmett came barreling down the stairs with a huge grin. "So I cleaned up the bathroom and opened a window in the guest room for you." It was as if I wasn't there at all and I couldn't have been more happy about it.

"Thank you Emmett." Rosalie all but purred.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to burst if something didn't happen. "Em, why don't you give Rosalie the grand tour."

Emmett tried to act nonchalant about it and steered Rosalie towards the small kitchen. Charlie shuffled back to his chair, knowing I'd follow. I sat down on the old worn couch against the wall, crossing my legs Indian style.

"So Emmett seems rather taken with your friend Rosalie." Charlie chuckled and took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, I think it's mutual."

We watched the ball game in comfortable silence, every now and then catching little bites of Emmett and Rosalie. Eventually a commercial came on and Charlie cleared his throat.

"Got any plans for tonight?" I smiled as his moustache moved.

I nodded. "Yeah. Probably going to Cullens."

Cullens was Edwards first experiment here in Forks. It's a pub with live entertainment, and amazing energy. Doesn't hurt that we get free drinks and food.

Charlie nodded, clicking his tongue. "I'll be fishin with Billy tomorrow morning. Be back for dinner. Think you could make fish?" It was so cute how Charlie always looked slightly embarrassed when he asked me to cook. Mom or I always did all the cooking because Charlie would live off pb&j if we'd let him.

"Of course," I replied as Rosalie and Emmett came down stairs.

Rosalie made herself comfortable next to me and Emmett went into the kitchen, coming back with three beers. He handed Rose and I each one and then remained in the doorway sipping his own as the game came back on.

"That's bull shit!" Rosalie shouted, standing up and glaring at the TV. "He could have caught that. I could have caught that!" Rosalie was referring to the player that narrowly missed the ball in the last inning.

"Well Rosalie, you're welcome here anytime," Charlie nodded to her with a smile as he went back to watching the game.

I'm fairly certain Emmett was preparing his proposal speech to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am so thrilled by the reaction everybody had to this story on the first day. THANK YOU!**

**I used a few songs in this chapter so if you'd like you can go and look 'em up: **"Storm by Lifehouse" "You make it real by James Morrison" **and the song that Edward and Bella dance to is** "Never Alone by Lady Antebellum".

**I've also posted some links of character images on my profile for this story.**

**And I carelessly forgot this part in last chapter...**

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT BY ANY MEANS OWN TWILIGHT OR ITS CHARACTERS. I just give them a series of shit bombs. (:**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Menthol Cigarette <strong>

"I think I'm gonna wear that dress Alice bought me when Nordstrom had its sale last December." I mentioned to Rosalie, who was currently occupying my bed as I dug through my suitcase.

Rosalie furrowed her brows at me. "The sweater dress?" I nodded at her. "Bella, it's seventy something degrees outside. You can't wear a sweater dress to a bar. Especially not to a bar that your unrequited love owns," she added that last part with a weird whisper.

"Thanks Rose, as if I didn't feel stupid enough about pinning away for him."

Rosalie frowned and got up to stand in front of me. "Bella, you aren't the same girl he watched grow up and have pimples and fall down stairs. You're kick ass and take no prisoners Bella. You're absolutely beautiful and you are going to show every male in this town that they should have paid attention."

I snorted at Rosalie even though I secretly hopped she was right. "Then what do you purpose I wear?"

Rosalie waggled her eyebrows at me and darted to her garment bag. "Alice will be so proud. We can tell her it was your idea."

Getting ready ensued and before I knew it, Rosalie had perfect me. I was wearing a short sleeve baby blue dress. It stopped a few inches above my knee, with chiffon overlay and a brown belt to cinch the lose fabric finishing the ensemble with brown ankle boots. While Rosalie went and made herself look even more unattainable, I applied the anti-frizz spray to my hair, and "put on my face" as Alice always called it. When in actuality, all I ever put on was some eyeliner, mascara, chap-stick, and if the event deemed it, eye shadow. Tonight deemed it.

I checked my cell phone and replied to a few texts while I waited for Rosalie to emerge from her room. Emmett was in his room, pumping himself up. His stupid music was playing and every now and then you could hear a "lookin' fine!" as he spoke to himself. I chuckled quietly, remembering how my mother used to tease him relentlessly about his personal pep talks.

I heard Rosalie's bedroom door open and looked up. Fuck. I suppressed the self-depredating comments in my head. Rosalie stood before me in tight black ripped jeans, red high heels and tight red top that all but threw her cleavage out there to be fondled. I glanced down at my own boobs, knowing they were there, however the dress I had on didn't exactly show it.

"Bella stop it!" Rosalie stomped her heel. "Would you really have worn something like this if I had handed it to you?"

I grimaced. No, I probably would have thrown it back at her laughing. But I wanted to look hot not pretty and innocent. I set my shoulders. "Rosalie, I love this dress. And I will almost certainly ask to borrow it. But tonight, I'd like to look sexy."

Rosalie's face broke out into a breathtaking surprised smile. "I can finally cross something off my bucket list!"

"Really Rose, your bucket list?" I said in a very dry tone.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me and yanked me hard into the guest room. "Woman, you have no idea how long I've been dying to hear you say those words."

Eventually, after some serious lack of blood flow, Rosalie had me squeezed into the jeans she originally had on. She decided to wear dark skinny jeans to allow me the others. I donned a gray tank top that allowed ample cleavage exposure and black spiky boots. Rosalie then removed my make-up, redoing me so that I had a gray smoky eye effect and let me just say, I was impressed.

Rosalie stood back with her arms crossed over her chest nodding. "Mhm, I'd fuck you."

I rolled my eyes. "I want the male population to notice me, not the female."

Rosalie quirked her eyebrow, "Bells, if a _girl_ wouldn't think twice about slamming you against a wall, a guy won't think twice about bending your sweet little ass-"

"Rosalie!" I hissed. "Thin walls," I pointed to the door. "My father or brother hear you talking like that and they'll chain me to the bed post."

Rosalie wouldn't quit. "Well, I mean, if incest is your thing-"

I groaned and tugged at my hair. "Are you ready?"

Rosalie smirked, sauntering to the door. "The question is, are you?"

I smacked myself in the face and walked out the door.

"Bells?" Emmett's surprised tone caused me to look up. Emmett's blue eyes were running the length of my form, no doubt shocked at my attire. "You uh…"

"She looks hot." Rosalie interjected before Emmett could think of a word.

Emmett hardly even glanced at Rosalie, his eyes remaining trained on my chest area. "Em?"

Emmett scratched his head. "I guess I'm just trying to…I mean when did…" he waved his hand over his broad chest. "I never noticed…did you?"

"Oh my god, Emmett." Yet again I face palmed myself. "Are you asking when did I get tits?"

Emmett blushed slightly. "It's just that I've never-fuck!" he exclaimed loudly. "This feels like I've been checking out my little sister. Are you really wearing that out? Guys are gonna stare, Bells."

I smirked looking down. "I certainly hope so."

Emmett's face grew red, but not from embarrassment. "I don't think dad's gonna let you leave the house like that."

Rosalie squared her shoulders. "Really?"

Emmett finally looked at Rose. His face stretched into his flirtatious smirk. "Rosalie you look…" words failed him.

Rosalie glared at him. "How is what Bella is wearing any different from what I am? It's my clothes."

Emmett was quick. "She's my sister. You aren't."

Rosalie huffed. "Every girl has the right to feel and look hot. Treat Bella like the young woman she is."

Emmett looked like he wanted to throw a fit but pulled himself together at the last minute. He pouted for a moment and looked between Rose and I. "Fine. But if any guy gets fresh with you and you don't like it, you bet I'll be watching."

I stood on my tip toes to kiss Emmett's cheek. "I'd expect nothing less."

The three of us walked down the stairs, Emmett trailing behind no doubt waiting to see what Charlie would have to say. I had to admit. There was a part of me that hoped he would say something and ground me to stay in. Nervousness was not something I handled well.

Charlie hardly gave Rosalie a glance away from his game. "Heading out?" He asked as he stood up, finally getting an eyeful of me. All he did was simply smirk. "I heard," he pointed to the ceiling. "Have fun; call me if you drink more than one, okay?"

"Not to worry pop's, I'm DD tonight," Emmett announced as he twirled his jeep keys around his finger.

Charlie smiled. "Good, good. Be in late then?"

Rosalie was standing back, watching the exchange between Charlie and us. She had this sort of wistful expression on her face and I wondered how the relationship between Rose and her father was. She hardly ever spoke of her parents.

"Don't wait up dad, fishing, remember?" I said as I hugged and kissed him goodbye.

Emmett and Charlie had their man hug and then Rosalie went for another hug. Charlie seemed to really like Rose. I started to wonder if he had sensed what I had about her.

"Really Emmett?" I asked once we stepped outside. Em's jeep was muddy. The sun was just setting, a light chill in the air now that its rays were no longer bathing every inch of Forks.

"What?" he shrugged and opened the passenger side doors for Rosalie and me. "I got here two days ago. Dad and I had some male bonding. He did this, not me."

I busted out laughing and climbed in the back, allowing Rosalie the front so that she could get more comfortable with Emmett. These two were going to be inseparable by the time I was done with them.

Needless to say the drive didn't take long and I was happy to see the bar was busy. It meant only good things for Edward. I tried not to think about him showing up. Nobody had mentioned him coming tonight so I didn't have much reason to think he would.

Alice and Jasper pulled in not to long after us in Jaspers truck, Alice jumping out excitedly. Alice had on some silver tube dress and heels, always the different one. I smiled to myself, out of the corner of my eye seeing Jaspers eyes bug out of his head at me. He and Emmett exchanged looks.

"Holy fuck," Alice smirked. "I'm impressed. I guessed you'd show up in jeans and a band t-shirt."

Thanks for the confidence. I just shook my head no; ready to get some alcohol in my system. "Can we get inside?"

Alice led the way to a corner both that had an excellent view of the stage but yet was dimly lit so that the entire bar couldn't see us. Smoke filtered throughout the area, conversations drifting around my ears. I sat on the edge that way the couples could be by each other and it gave me and even more clear view of the stage. Our waitress came by, clearly a high school student, asking what we wanted. Alice reminded the girl of who she was and then proceeded to order every appetizer on the menu, a bucket of beers and then whatever any of us wanted as a different drink. I ordered a shot of Jack and a coke.

As we waited for our order, a young kid was plugging in his guitar and adjusting the micstand. He reminded me of Edward at the talent show a few years ago. His hair was a blonde mop and his lips were pouty. The lights illuminated the stage slightly more, causing heads to turn and conversations to quiet. I played with the paper wrapping that had been around my silverware as I waited for the kid to start.

"How's everybody doin' tonight?" his voice was sweet, just a small hint of his nerves seeping through. The crowd gave various replies to the boy earning a smile from him. "Well, tonight I'd like to dedicate this song to a very special girl who happens to be waitressing tonight."

I glanced around the room and found that our waitress's eyes were glued to the boy and his eyes were trained on her.

He strummed his guitar a few times before a gravel voice reverberated around the bar. He was good. Almost as good as Edward. It was then, as I was feeling the beat with my eyes closed that I realized he was singing one of Edward's songs.

"If I could just see you, everything would be all right. If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light." The boy sang and all I could hear was Edward from the CD I had in my car.

In Edwards's version, a piano was the instrument of choice not an acoustic guitar and there was a little drum with some sound effects. I was lost, submerged in the flow of the song when I got ripped from my head by Alice.

"He'd be so flattered," she mused. "It actually happens a lot. Edward loves it though."

I sighed to myself. I began to wonder if I'd ever seen Edward again. Our paths just never seemed to cross. Even when circumstances would try to intertwine us, something always got in the way.

I grew lonely sitting with the set of couples and decided I'd do a beer run and save the waitress the trouble. I stood from the booth, making my way to the bar where there was one stool open. I sat down as an AC/DC song came on causing me to smile.

"Can I get a refill on the Cullen booth?" I asked loudly so that the guy behind the bar would hear me. When he spun around to take my bucket I gasped. "Seth?"

Seth had been a year behind me in school. He was always nice to me even though nobody was hardly ever nice to him. He sure showed them. Seth now had shiny dark short hair that hung over his dark eyes, a sharp bone structure and pretty well built body.

Seth replied with just as much shock. "Bella?"

I leaned over the bar to give the guy a hug, overjoyed to see my geeky friend. "I didn't know you worked here!"

Seth nodded as he pulled away from me and filled my bucket back up with ice. "Yeah, I moved back about a month ago 'cause dad had a heart attack."

Harry had a heart attack? Nobody had mentioned this to me. I frowned. "Is he okay?"

Seth nodded and dropped bottles into the ice. "Good ole' Dr. Cullen fixed him right up."

Carlisle Cullen is Edward and Alice's father, chief of staff at Forks General and all around DILF. I had the pleasure of several stitching's from him when I was younger and would get injuries.

"Good, I'm glad. How have you been?" I asked, desperately seeking conversation that wasn't about sex positions.

Seth took an order and made some fruity thing before answering me. "College was fun while it lasted," he shrugged. "I'll probably go back once I know dad's better and mom doesn't feel like she's gotta babysit him."

I knew Seth didn't mean to but I was feeling horribly guilty that I hadn't quit school when my mother was getting sicker and sicker. I had been in denial, I kept telling myself it wasn't as bad as everybody thought. I was selfish. Even Emmett had taken a month off there at the end. I came for a weekend. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, I better get these back to the gang. It was really good to see you, Seth. Give your dad my best for me?"

"Sure sure," Seth nodded and dried out a glass.

I quickly hopped down and sadly made my way back to the booth. I looked around at the people here tonight. It looked like half of the town was in here. Which meant the entire place knew how I had let my family down. The Chief of Police's daughter was not very honorable.

I popped the cap off my third beer and took a large swig, closing my eyes as I drifted away with the music. It wasn't long before I had downed another bottle. When I went for my forth, Em caught my hand.

"Four in less than an hour? You all right, Bells?"

I jerked my hand out of Emmett's hold and looked down. "Yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

Emmett's eyes held concern as he rested his hand on to the table. "Bells?" He gave me that brother look that conveyed he was safe to talk to but I just shook my head and made my way towards the doors. I needed some air to clear my head.

As I was passing by a couple smoking, I surprised myself self by asking if I could bum one. The woman laughed and handed me two and a cheap lighter for the first. I thanked her and made my way outside to smoke.

I didn't have a habit of smoking. Actually, I kind of found the habit gross but when I had had just enough alcohol, I liked the sting of the smoke as it ripped down my throat and polluted my lungs. I liked the feel of the cigarette in between my fingers as I raised it to my lips. I liked watching the smoke billow from my mouth and into the air, evaporating as if it were never there at all.

Sometimes I felt like smoke. Seen for a few seconds and then all but forgotten.

"You can smoke inside, you know." I stiffened as the voice reached my ears. My hair was obscuring my view of the man so I couldn't be sure but when he spoke again I knew who he was and my heart stopped and then sped up tenfold. "Though it does get rather thick I guess."

I just nodded my head. I wasn't sure I wanted him to know it was me. The air shifted, blowing his musky cedar and cinnamon scent towards me. My knees nearly gave out then. An ache I had never truly gotten rid of ripped open in my chest and something clawed at me to speak to him.

"I'm Edward, by the way." He said as he took a pull from his own cancer stick.

I tucked the hair that wasn't allowing him a view of me behind my ear and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

I didn't look directly at him; I fought with everything I had to keep my eyes trained ahead and only judge his reaction from my peripheral vision. I gathered that his face was confused before realization hit him and he exhaled sharply. His cigarette fell to the sidewalk as he starred at me.

"B-Bella?"

I tried not to laugh. "It's me Cullen."

What Edward did next, I was not prepared for. He grabbed me from my slouch on the side of the building and hugged me tightly. I hated the tingles that rippled through my body at his touch and I hated the way I hugged him back just as tightly.

We stood embraced for several long seconds before I pulled away and went back to my slouch. I flicked my ash and took another pull. "I see the bar is doing well."

Edward's face took on an odd look of annoyance or anger. "Bella, I haven't seen you in six months and you want to talk about the successfulness of my bar?"

I scowled up at his tall frame. My memory hadn't done him justice. God he was heartbreakingly gorgeous. His perfect jaw line, lean yet muscled body, messy bronze hair and by far my favorite, his piercing green eyes-deep pools of emerald.

"What do you want to talk about then, Edward?" I asked averting my eyes to a sedan parked in front of me.

Edward shoved his hands down in his jean pockets, looking around himself like he was embarrassed to be seen with me.

The alcohol and my mood over my mother spoke before I could stop it. "If I'm keeping you from your date or something, you should go."

Edward rubbed his eyebrows and huffed. "I didn't come here with a date. I just got home from a gig in San Francisco so I was hoping to catch everybody still here. Alice left a voicemail."

"Oh," was my brilliant reply.

"Are you going to come inside?" he asked, gesturing to the doors. "I'm supposed to go on in twenty."

He was going to sing? Fuck. And because my brain and heart hate each other… "What song are you going to do?"

I caught the corner of Edwards mouth lift up in a mischievous smirk. "Something I wrote a very long time ago."

"Have I heard it?" I asked, stamping out the cig and turning to face him instead of concentrating on the sea of green trees ahead.

Edward shook his head slowly. "No, I never put this one on a record."

I pursed my lips and then shoved my fingers in my back pockets. I noticed how Edward looked at me. He seemed to keep running his eyes up and down, stop at my eyes and then repeat the cycle. "Then I guess we better get inside so you aren't late."

Edward held the door open for me and I tried to keep my balance as I walked to the booth, Edward trailing behind, saying hello to a few people. Emmett was the first to look up and see me. He was about to say something to me so I spoke first.

"Look who I found wondering around outside," I said, stepping aside so everybody could see Edward.

Alice clamored over the table to tackle her brother like some wild animal while Jasper stood, as well as Emmett to get a hello to Edward. I watched with baited breath as Edwards eyes fell on Rosalie. I waited for the bugging eyes, slack jaw, stuttering, and wink's but none of it ever came. Edward gave her a polite smile, introduced himself and left it at that. Rosalie didn't seem the least bit interested in him nor put off by his lack of it.

"Man, it's good to see you," Jasper said as he got his manly hug from Edward. "You performing tonight?"

Alice clapped. "Of course he is!"

Edward darted his eyes to me when he replied to Jasper. "Yeah, I am."

Edwards's eyes stayed on me as Emmett engaged him in some conversation about the kid that did one of his songs. I couldn't understand why he kept looking at me. Did I really look that different? I took in his dark jeans and black button up with rolled sleeves, watching as the tendons in his arm rippled as he moved his hands.

Edward looked down at his watch. "I'll be back in a few." When Edward walked away he deliberately grazed my bare forearm with his warm hand. It sent tingles all across my skin.

I sat down, turning so that I was facing the stage just right for ample viewing of Edward. It took a few moments before he took the stage and the bar went wild. People were cheering, whistling, and cat calling him everywhere. Edward strummed his guitar a few times to settle the crowd before he began to let his magical voice flow through the speakers set up.

"There's so much craziness surrounding me. There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe. When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me, you make it real for me…" he sang the song with sweet melodies and strong notes, leaving me to wonder who the fuck he had wrote this about.

He said he wrote it a long time ago. So, high school? There's no way he felt this way about one of the bimbos he played around with back then. I wracked my brain as to whom he could have written such beautiful words for but I came up empty.

Whoever she was, I was disgustingly green with envy of her.

The bar erupted in a deafening round of applause and cheers, begging him to do more but he just shook his head with a smirk. "Sorry guys, some friends I haven't seen in a very long time are in town tonight."

With that, Edward jumped off the stage and sauntered over to our booth. I was still hung up on his song when he sat down next to me, asking if I'd scoot in for him.

"Edward that was really good. Who was it about?" Rosalie asked as she played with the straw in her margarita.

I swear I saw Edward's eyes dart to me before he replied. "I wrote it a long time ago. A girl."

Emmett let out a loud laugh. "Oh c'mon Eddie boy, kiss and tell, you always do."

But Edward remained solid. He simply chuckled with everyone and took a swig of his beer. "Not anymore man."

Jasper nearly spat his drink. "Wait, the great Edward Cullen is hanging up his condoms?"

Gross visual Jasper, thanks, I thought to myself. I looked over at Edward, propping my head up with my fist and elbow.

"Not exactly. I've just had time to think."

"Emmett! Dance with me?" Rosalie asked as a slower song came on.

Emmett didn't need to be asked twice. He escorted Rose down to the small dance floor, Alice and Jasper quick to follow.

Great. Alone again. I blew out a breath that fluttered my hair from my face and groaned. I needed some sleep. I was far too tipsy.

"How much have you had, Bella?"

I didn't like his tone. It sounded patronizing. I opened my eyes and glared at him. "I am above the legal drinking age, alcohol police. I've had three beers, and a shot of Jack."

Edward smirked at my comment. Then he started laughing so hard his shoulders were bouncing.

"What the hell is so funny?" I asked after I felt he had laughed for far too long.

Edward sobered as much as he could. "You."

"Me?" I asked confused.

"You've changed so much. I mean, the core you is still there but you're…feistier." His face softened as he looked at me and then suddenly found his napkin fascinating. "Bella…I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you when your…when your mom passed away. I-"

"Edward stop." I said putting my hands up in the air. "I'm not mad at you. If I had spoken with you I would have never let you skip out on your gig. And my mom never would have wanted you to either. She loved your music you know. She had asked Charlie to make sure your CD was played at her service. You could say the whole funeral wasn't exactly traditional."

Edward still looked somber. I leaned in closer, realizing his eyes were wet with unshed tears. I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it when one lone tear, streaked out of Edwards beautiful eyes.

"Her death hit me really hard, I'm not really sure why," he began and wiped away his tear stain. "It put a lot of things in perspective for me I guess."

I let out a small laugh. "Is that why you've 'hung up the condoms'?" I asked using air quotes to use Jasper's words.

Edward smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked back at me with an intensity that rocked me to my core. "Partly. But also because I finally decided to face facts that I've always known what my destiny was, I was just putting it off because I thought I wanted to have more fun. When really, it's all been sitting right under my nose."

I sucked on the straw that was in Rosalie's margarita as I listened. I would have commented on how good it was but that felt like bad timing.

"How's school going for you?"

I rolled my eyes. "My Human Relations professor is a giant ass hole and is failing me even though I passed the first semester of part one and he knows everything that happened. He wouldn't offer any suggestions to help."

"Seriously?" Edward asked.

I nodded, clicking my tongue. "That's why I'm here today and not just for the weekend. I skipped his class today," I giggled because it kind of felt like telling Banner to shove it even though he probably didn't care.

Edward smirked. "Well, then we better make this a good night." Edward stood up and extended his hand to me. "Come dance with me Bella."

I looked at Edward and his outstretched arm like it had a fungal infection. "I don't dance Edward."

Edward rolled his eyes. "It's customary that when I'm at my place of business to enjoy and evening that I enjoy it with the most attractive woman. That would be you."

I couldn't stop the words. "You think I'm attractive?" I asked incredulously.

Edward quirked one eyebrow and pouted his lips. "I've always found you attractive Bella. Always." He whispered.

My eyes grew large as I stood silently and took his hand. I knew then that I would follow this man through the fiery pits of hell if he led me there.

The song that the other four had been dancing to had ended but another slow one had begun just as Edward and I hit the floor. I noticed Alice smile widely as Edward pulled me into him and settled his hands low on my hips. I stretched my arms to get around his neck, thankful the boots allowed me some extra height because, damn, Edward got tall.

I found myself humming along with the song and lost in the little bubble Edward constructed for us as we danced. I loved being pressed up against him, at the mercy of wherever he led me. I ignored the thoughts swimming in my head of what this meant. It probably meant nothing at all. Edward and I were friends, nothing more. Just because Edward found me attractive didn't mean he wanted to slam me against a wall and rip my clothes off.

I stopped that train of thought right there because if it kept going I'd end up humping Edwards leg. Not a good way to show my affection.

The song drew to end and when I went to pull away, Edward tightened his arms around me. He slowly kissed my forehead and then nuzzled my temple. "Bella," he breathed.

"Yes?" I said in a shaky voice.

"Can I…" Edward lifted one hand to my chin, tilting it so that he could see directly into my eyes. He didn't finish his question because whatever he was going to ask was ended by whatever he saw in my eyes. Slowly Edwards head dipped down to my level and paused mere centimeters from my lips. His green eyes flicked to my brown ones before he crashed his mouth to mine.

Sparks lit up my entire body as Edwards hand snaked to the base of my head and grabbed a fist full of hair to hold me. His lips melded with mine, moving at passionate speeds, likely not appropriate for our current setting. But I didn't care. I slid my hands into his fuck me hair and pulled him tighter to me, every nerve ending in my body coming alive. Edwards other hand held my ass, nearly lifting me off the ground. I moaned as his tongue traced my lower lip before slipping inside my mouth.

I could taste his menthol cigarette, his beer and something else that was pure Edward. I rolled my hips forward, feeling how much Edward wanted me and knew this either had to stop or be taken somewhere else. I pulled away from Edward, hoping he was thinking the later. Softly gasping as I stared into his eyes I still hadn't released his hair.

"Do you want to-"

I quickly nodded, willing to go anywhere he wanted. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me through the sea of people near the bathrooms and then shoved open a dark door that clearly led to his office.

Edward slammed me up against the now closed door, pulling and tugging at my clothes as I worked the buckle on his belt. I kept finding ways to pinch myself to make sure this wasn't just some seriously vivid sex dream. …But is this how I really wanted it? To be just another notch in Edwards bedpost?

I froze in the middle of Edward tugging at the hem of my tank top. I gently pushed Edward away to allow myself some space. This wasn't what I wanted. "This isn't what I want." I shook my head, eyes locked on the dark green carpet.

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "What do you mean? Bella, this is exactly what I-"

"I thought you said you were done sleeping around. I'm nothing but some easy lay to you, aren't I?" When Edward stared at me blankly I lost it. "Fuck!" I grabbed my head and tried to regain a grip but it never came. "Edward do you have any idea how much I love you? How long I've loved you? You haven't a clue. Before you were hot shot Cullen, entrepreneur and wonderful musician, I loved you. You, Edward. Not your money, title, or the things you own. You. And you don't even give a shit." I took a deep breath, shaking my head. "I can tell myself every day that you aren't going to invade my thoughts but eventually I'm forced to face the truth. No matter what I say, I'm not over you."

I fixed my shirt and made to leave the office but Edward wrapped his arms around my torso, rendering me incapable of moving an inch. "Bella, we need to talk."

"I've got nothing more to say to you , Edward. I get it. I'm not what you're looking for. You need a trophy girlfriend to stand beside you at events."

A very odd sound emanated from Edward. It sounded painful. "Bella please stop. Listen to me."

I closed my eyes tilting my head up and allowing Edward to turn me to face him. I looked at the wall just behind his head at the certificate of operation hung there along with various other framed pieces of fancy paper.

"Will you please look at me?" I clenched my jaw fighting to keep my stare. "What I did back in high school, I was young. Girls always came easily to me. But that's not who I am now. I…I was fighting what I always knew back then. I never wanted to admit how I felt about you because I always felt you deserved somebody better. I still believe that. But I swear to you Bella. If you'll give me just one chance and let me at least try to be the man you deserve-"

"Admit how you felt about me?" I whispered softly.

Edward pushed some hair gently behind my ear. "Bella, that song was about you. All of my songs are about you."

Needless to say… Is he fucking kidding me?


End file.
